Lately I feel no longing for possessions that was upon a time used to fill my mind constantly.  This worries me because the need for these things were what many times lit the fire of ambition in me. I worry that without desire  my ambition that use to fire bright will slowly burn out

Your watching me aren't I know it. O so close I get to a  complete and utter  disater. U wait til I'm almost at the bottom the one as of life to pull back up. At times you and I grow very distant didn't we. It was neither your fault or mines just something that happen. When my mindset on certain things that held you in the high regards such as religion shifted I sort of though I relationship would never be the same. I remember when I use to pray to you very day, good tines.  Hope you know I will keep those promises I made to you so long ago whether or not u hold true to your part. I am after all a man of my word. Well my friend God bless I know I'm stupid.

I'm becoming another person more rapidly than ever before. I feel like bean in the post enders game Sega.  Like bean I don't realize that I have evolved until it is evident because I react to a situation different than I would maybe a day ago.  Why is change happening so quickly.  Is the evanz at this age able absurd  information that quickly or is that the evanz of today is just becoming the person evanz of the past was scared to be.